A Simple Tool to Ease Tension in Relationships (And, Yes, Parenting is a Relationship Too.)

At a time when you may find yourself surrounded by your loved ones more than you are used to and with life being a little more heightened in energy as 2020 is bringing forth a tsunami of emotions, you may be finding that your feeling triggered by those you care about more than you used to.

Therefore, let’s talk about something that affects all of us: RELATIONSHIPS.

If you are feeling frustrated by other people and you find your thoughts swirling around idle chatter about things they do that drive you up a wall, I wanted to give you a quick exercise to start feeling in flow with others again.

It’s a simple thing really.

“It all starts with the inner knowing that what you put your attention on GROWS.”

This exercise works with everyone; from a newborn to grandparents, to the grouchy neighbour who starts mowing their grass when you just set down for a nap.

The more you start to tell a negative story around someone, simply by noticing things they do that are triggering you, or even the simple eye roll when they leave the milk out, you start to build momentum and it grows.

Suddenly you are noticing that they don’t put dishes away as well, or then they always leave the TV on. Maybe they chew their food really loud or they always talk about other people.

Maybe you start to notice that your child hits a frequency that could break glass when they laugh or they simply will not hear you until the third round of asking.

“The more attention you give to faults the more you notice them.

The universe will always provide where you put that energy… and where attention goes energy flows.

The thing is… is that when you let your energy focus on the little things, then you simply drag yourself down.

(We’re going to take for granted here that you know I’m not referring to any form of abuse. If you are being treated less than the magical being you are on a regular occurrence, please seek outside help.)

So, do you want the magic wand to relationships?


“I always recommend writing appreciation lists when clients come to me frustrated with their children.

Rather than what your kids are struggling with right now, what are they doing amazing at? What’s really working?

Same too when a client is frustrated with their partner and they just can’t see eye to eye.

What do you LOVE about them? What do you appreciate about who they are and how they show up in your life?

“When you look for the best, you attract more of the best. When you see the gifts to the world your children are, they get the message and things tend to shift around.


A good example I always tell my clients is this…

You can hold the story that your child never picks up their mess. You can rant and rail complaining to them. One day, you might go out and your children will want to make you feel good, so they rush around cleaning the house up.

If the story you hold is one of them never cleaning, you won’t notice the clean house. Your eyes will be trained on the one glass left on the countertop.

It’s a true story. Because it’s happened to me in the past.

Be aware of the stories you tell yourself about others, and try on some appreciation around them and see how it shifts. You’ll feel better, you’ll be filled with love and light and ease, and who knows what changes you’ll see in your life as a result.

Because people tend to show up the way you expect.

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A Simple Tool to Ease Tension in Relationships (And, Yes, Parenting is a Relationship Too.)

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